Stop intrusive thoughts
We all have intrusive negative thoughts from time to time. When those intrusive negative thoughts become repetitive, when we become focused on our worries and doubts, the result is a sense of helplessness, a lack of confidence, and anxiety that can invade even our quiet moments of would-be peace. One technique we teach our clients to deal with these negative mental intrusions is Thought Stopping.
Before we dive into how Thought Stopping works, let's take a page from Cal Banyan's The Secret Language of Feelings to understand when and why it's useful. The first step in Thought Stopping is confirming that the thought in question is erroneous rather than a necessary call to action from deeper within yourself. Does this thought need to be stopped? Even feelings such as worry over the future can ultimately be positive if they're coming from healthy places, such as when the purpose of these feelings is to motivate us to take action. Thought Stopping won't work long term if you use it to distract yourself from necessary feelings, to avoid doing what needs to be done in your life, to evade responsibility and therefore the satisfaction and peace of mind that comes with accomplishing goals. If anything, you may find yourself worse off than before if you try to stamp out genuine feelings motivating you to improve yourself and your life. Thought Stopping is a technique for confronting those erroneous thoughts that hold us back, those intrusive and repetitive thoughts that run through our minds for no good reason. It's important to make that distinction between thoughts that need stopping and thoughts that need heeding before we use the Thought Stopping technique.
As an example of what this looks like in practice, let's say you have to give a speech before a crowd. If you haven't prepared yourself ahead of time, it's perfectly natural for you to go into the presentation feeling anxious. This anxiety is your mind's call to action motivating you to prepare your speech before it happens, which will, in turn, help you be more comfortable when you step up to the podium. Part of that anxiety comes from never having done what you could to alleviate your worries through preparation ahead of time. Thought Stopping isn't going to help you give a speech you haven't written. On the other hand, let's say you've prepared your presentation the best you can, but all the same, you keep having this nagging thought of, "I'm going to fail." You know deep down you've done what you need to rock this, but that little voice just won't hush and go away. Now's the time to break out our secret weapon against these intrusive negative thoughts: Thought Stopping.
So what exactly is Thought Stopping? It's when we consciously stop and redirect our thoughts in more positive directions. This can help change our state of both mind and body, aid in reducing anxiety and increasing productivity. As the masters of our own minds, we replace those nagging negative thoughts with something more positive and realistic. Here are a few useful techniques you might try:
Unclench your jaw and relax your tongue as best you can. This allows the vagus nerve to relax. The vagus nerve is one of the cranial nerves connecting the brain to the rest of the body's nervous system. This is the longest nerve of your autonomic nervous system, and among other functions, it helps regulate your heartbeat, your lungs, and your digestive system. Relaxing this nerve helps relax your mind as well. Give it a try! This is a great technique to help quiet a noisy mind when you're trying to fall asleep.
The Two Breath hypnosis technique can be useful to quickly turn your thoughts around. When anxiety creeps in, the number one thing people forget to do is breathe! This technique involves taking in deep breaths and using our imaginations to give us something else to focus on. When you feel a negative emotion coming on, notice where in your body that you feel it the most. Maybe your shoulders get tight, or you get a cramp somewhere. Mentally assign that emotion a color in your mind. Next, imagine how you want to feel: happy, relaxed, secure. Assign another color to represent that desired emotional state. As you take a slow deep breath, imagine you are breathing in the color you want to feel; as you exhale, envision yourself breathing out the color of your negative feelings. Soon the negative color will be expelled and replaced by the positive color within your mind, granting you relief in whichever part of your body you focused on.
Try using out a micro-commitment to make yourself feel better when those negative thoughts strike. Have a simple, low energy activity that will help redirect your thoughts picked out ahead of time. What this entails is going to depend on you. A good example is listening to your favorite feel-good song, the sort of tune that can make you feel better no matter what. Maybe it's watching a cute baby elephant video, or beating world one of Super Mario Bros for the millionth time. It's important to have this activity picked out ahead of time so you instantly know what to do when the unwanted thoughts arise.
Here's a fun technique that I teach my younger clients. They're always amazed by how well it works! First, take your unwanted thought or feeling and imagine squeezing it into one fist. Squeeze hard; don't give those intrusive thoughts any mercy! Take a deep breath, then as you exhale slowly count backward from three to one. On the count of one, relax your fist. With your other fist, envision a happy thought, feeling, or memory resting on your palm, and tighten that fist as well. Again, take a deep breath and exhale while counting backwards from three to one, then relax your fist. Now, this is where the magic happens. Squeeze both fists, take in a deep breath and hold it for a count of three; now count back down from five to one out loud while you exhale. As you reach one, shake your fists out and notice how good you feel!
You may find any or all of these techniques useful in banishing the negative intrusive thoughts that pop up in your life from time to time. Whichever technique works for you, Thought Stopping can be a great tool in achieving your goals and living your best life.